Tamere, strong start, but you have a little ways to go. Remember, responses are supposed to be 175-250 words long. That last one is 59 words. The one before that is 115. I'll give you credit this time, but next time that will be unacceptable. You've got to elaborate. In the last response, I'm wondering how the people are being discreet. What other evidence do you have that the grandparents are involved? Is it a pattern that you have noticed in the book, or in this type of fiction/film? The response before I'm wondering how the character has grown. You've said she evolves, but never get around to saying how.
Mandoud - 3/5 Responses
Mandoud, you'd make a great Victorian writer. Your tangent's tangents have tangents. You have some voice in your responses, sophisticated vocabulary, etc., but I kind of trip over your prose. I think I have a new rule for you. Next project, you are not allowed to use parenthesis. I'm holding you to that. Try writing without them. Make those little asides sentences and connect them to the ideas. We'll see how it works. If it works well, I'll give you back your curved little lines.
Oh yeah. Three responses and 20 pages is absolutely pathetic. Read. Write. Stop sitting around. If you're not enjoying a book, abandon it. I allow you to choose your own books in the hope that you'll actually read them.
Anthony - 5/5 Responses
I get the idea you're not very far into the book. I don't remember Darry being in the hospital. I have no idea what you're even talking about. This is unacceptable.
Olivia - 1/5 Responses
Olivia, avoid plot summary. Answer one of the questions I provided you with.
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